I am extremely proud of myself today. I have done something that I have been putting off for a long time, always promising myself I would do it, but never getting around to it.
Today, I finally asked for help to quit smoking.
I skipped New Leaf, been there done that, and went straight to the Doctor instead. I told her exactly what method I wanted to use and she handed me over the prescription.
I've decided to use the Champix tablets. Now I'm not sure how this is going to go because for some reason I have picked up an anxiety towards tablet taking, especially ones I haven't taken before. This became apparent to me when I had a panic attack after taking a beta blocker - which ironically was meant to slow my heart rate down. I know in my head these tablets aren't going to kill me, but for some unknown reason I always wonder 'what if I'm allergic to something in these?'. Slowly I'm getting used to it. I finally realised it was just anxiety when I panicked taking a Calcium supplement tablet and then realised I'd been having calcium all my life and nothing had ever happened.
Got a little side tracked there, but that is my big news. I sort of feel like I'm cheating by taking tablets, but I know I don't have the will power to just quit by myself. The tablets cause nausea which only gets worse when you smoke, therefore putting you off cigarettes. Nausea doesn't bother me, I dealt with it for 6 months during pregnancy without being sick once. I know several people who have quit using these so decided it was the best option. I need something that can physically stop me smoking, not the power of my mind or reverse psychology. Because let's be fair, that's what most of the Nicotine Replacement Therapies are about.
When on the patches I was told if I smoked whilst wearing one I would have severe headrush and would overdose on nicotine. It never happened. It also didn't happen to Ross who was wearing patches double the strength of mine. Inhalators aren't an option for me. I have never been able to use an inhaler, I can't breathe something in. It's ironic really considering I smoke.
So there we have it. It may seem like something strange to be proud of, but I am. I have put off asking for help for so long, I'm finally admitting I need it.
I'm sure in a few weeks time when I reach fifty stone because I've taken up eating everytime I crave a cigarette, but I'm hoping the nausea will help with that. And if not, with the money I save from not smoking, I can always join a gym!